A Japanese saying states: " If you wish to explore the heart of a friend, sick", and a couple of years ago when I happened to end up for a while 'in hospital experienced this phrase on my skin.
Therefore, I dedicate this post to who I was monstrous, exaggerated and sometimes unexpectedly close at that time but also to whom it was not at all giving me the opportunity to open his eyes.
E 'dutiful but from the beginning, and to be fair I will not mention who was given the spot at that time, I prefer to celebrate friends rather than point out the culprits, so if you can call them.
So to do some 'order should I start to tell the last day of vacation in Crete.
Party a symbol of style but instead puppe Baywatch Pamela Anderson video tosses my hairy belly.
Crete, surrounded by Mediterraeo between gitarelle happy days on the beach and trying to pave unsuspecting old people, you spend your time pursuing an absurd dispute whose origins are not yet well understood because each faction took offense at a different time. The dispute sees two opposing teams: Lele Vs Lilly and myself and Michael.
The last evening we toast to the birthday of heavily Lele and between a stroll and a chat in hard times they are absurd in the morning knowing that would sound the alarm too soon. He faints
to bed.
morning and open my eyes and a headache absurd keeps turning into the skull, and alcohol will be obvious in a hurry though a little 'stunned I prepare for departure.
airplane sleep like a rock and wake up only to laugh in the face to Lilly who is afraid of air pockets (yes, I am a bitch). At the airport are a little 'RINCO but eventually you come home tired and decides to throw on the bed to sleep in, but before falling asleep I agree with Rouge & Gori for the evening, promising a detailed and hilarious account of the quarrel Men Vs Women.
I wake up, get ready and jump on my lovely perky Z4, and I just want to ride it after 7 days without her, but once the party starts to turn around his head. Slowly walk around the block and bring the car in the garage, too are in a coma so I ritrascino to bed and I start to sleep. Do not believe any of spun around and sleep on Saturday night until the next day.
I wake up the next morning to find myself convinced as new but they are even more stunned at home you start to think of labyrinthitis or blood pressure problems and I do not understand what is happening, I am in while I do not care and continue to sleep and drag from one bed to another.
the evening I realized that my strange squint, which always cohabit, gradually getting worse and I can not see well. I continue to Stop Worrying and my sister while on holiday in Sardinia.
On Monday morning I wake up and I'm wrong, vomiting, my head is spinning and now I can not see. My mom does not know what to do and I tell them to take me to the emergency room. Arrival upset and vomiting just outside the entrance, in a short time I visit a neurologist, then I do a CAT scan which did not see anything. I look a bit 'and then tell me that I moved to Mondino Pavia in order to further examinations.
tossed in the ambulance arrive and upset the strasudato Mondino and immediately led me to do the MRI. To make time pass a bit 'I concentrate on breathing and a bit' hum and of course I'll be right tightened; because I move, so concentrate on your breathing return to trying to sit still. After the resonance placed me in a closet by itself. The closet was all white and there was no one, I had no watch, no reference points and completely sweaty, but after a while thanks to the air conditioning at -20 beginning to get cold and I had the impression of being there too long , so I found myself in a panic.
"You will forget about me" I started thinking, and in less than no time I found myself in the darkest paranoia, so I thought to go back to think to breath and I slowly calmed down. They had obviously forgotten about me and so I find myself doing an ultrasound of the skull. There were students who followed me concerned a bit 'to the bizarre case report and a bit' because I believe that being a peer so tanned howsoever affected. Luckily I was distracted a bit 'and relieved' that the morale in those moments was quite a see-saw between optimism and an equally insane crazy cosmic pessimism.
I shall return in the room and find myself in a large room with people dying circodato where the climate was not sure of the best, but luckily I find a nurse to meet me, I still remember his name: Serafino, who with his sympathy to me lightened not only those first moments in the hospital but also the following days.
I visit the doctors, my mother arrived accompanied by Botti and I do not know yet what is going on but in the meantime I find it increasingly difficult to walk even though we still can.
Skip
the first night of the complaints of roommates and a headache absurd.
The next day got worse, I can no longer walk and began my career as a pirate I make friends with my inseparable friend parrot. I make a withdrawal of CSF to try to understand what's happening to me but the result will only come the next day, in the meantime, to my great joy I submit a electromyography, which is basically a legalized electroshock to understand if my nerves and / or my muscles working or not. An examination seems pretty okay, I should not have injuries, and then you still do not know what's going on.
I still remember that when in the afternoon (because I think the concept of time was a bit 'vague at the time) came to visit my mother and the barrels are moved with a bang for the test of strong friendship that was giving me. When your heart begins to think seriously about your life you care about what others may think and begin to open yourself up without hesitation.
After another night of headaches, lack of sleep and with the company of my new parrot friend. During the night, or maybe it was already morning, because at that moment I was quite stunned, between the absurd to the head pain, lack of news about what was happening to me and who continued to worsen symptoms have begun to make inroads among my thoughts hypothesis slightly disastrous. In less than no time I found myself overwhelmed by a thought that seemed bigger than me, and although now it makes me smile, I seriously believe that this story came out I would be dead and stiff. It 'was the worst feeling I've felt in my life but in the endless series of terrible moments, has found its way inside of me a brilliant idea: "I might die but I would have enjoyed until the end", and so with I had those four notions about Buddhism and meditation I started to get me out of that thought and to appreciate all the things I had around. Thinking
affection shown by his friends, such as barrels, Rouge, Moscow, Giorgia which from the first day they came to me company, appreciating what he was doing for me, my mom, watching the sun settle over the landscape bunting that in those moments I felt incredibly beautiful, in a moment I felt strong again and able to go through what was happening to me, in One way or another.
Finally came the diagnosis: Miller-Fisher Syndrome!
My friends obviously know quite well what it is and how it works but I take a short break from the story to explain how it works. Virtually
is a variant of the scarcest of Guillain-Barre Syndrome, and being an immune-mediated disease, which is caused by the immune system that I care is proposed is a series of infusions of gamma globulin.
The day you begin treatment you find a nice thing: I'm allergic to gamma-globulins and I am also asthma. Fortunately, there is no cure but more effective than slam: the plasmapheresis.
Again comes the long awaited day of care. Hoping that the good time I loaded into the ambulance and take me to the hospital. I welcome a sympathetic doctor, an athlete who tells me of his feet and ran to his training, and a staff of nurses who can put me at ease. I warn that the plasma will be a little 'hard and I briefly explain how it works. The machine defaults and declares that I for one hour I will attached Starla to make me wash the blood. As she washes I have ever fiddle with a ball so as not to block the blood in braccio.Sembra an easy thing, but after half an hour are tanned like a rag ball and pump that I will become more and more massive undertaking, but the late arrival of 'Mondino now and bring me back to my room.
I move, and fortunately no longer in the room with the severe cases in one room but two. In short I discovered that my partner is a heavy smoker (smoking in my room with the total complicity) I think the 50in plenty of years, a lover of the Rolling Stones and listening to the radio at a volume absurd to send such a tilt in all Amplifon the district. Life begins to change.
Tireless Mosca Giorgia and continue to visit me every day. Also come and visit their friends and bunting being in a room with two people I get more quiet and he let me pass most of your time. Actually in the hospital, time is a problem, especially when the worst is over and boredom starts to fill the day. Meanwhile, among iPod, Pimpa books donated by the Moscow and Gio (the only ones who can not read because huge writings), moments of meditation and chat with other patients slowly fight boredom.
After the second plasmapheresis for the first time in my life going to faint, just to understand how tiring such thing. I'm not worried, I was so in the ambulance, and I wake up without the intervention of anyone. The other two plasmapheresis
go away as smooth as oil between chats with the doctor and to continue to pump Palletta.
So, after two weeks I have finished my treatment and I am starting rehabilitation. I plan to change and find myself in the room alone for a week I will have no company and so I decided to take me to the computer so I start to fuck between Facebook and YouTube.
we meet Marcella for one month will take care of my rehabilitation and I am slowly in the environment department. I find that a physical therapist, Antonio, is a great passionate about Eastern philosophies and sometimes when you can talk about Dogen and Zen, he recommend me some books and I step on a thesis that I found Koan first time on the Internet.
In the meantime I will find a lot of people, Sunday: Eliana, the Cameo, Chiara, iron, Wally, the Barrels and Cristina, almost every day: Goro, Marianna, the above mentioned Moscow and Giorgia and very often go to see Bash Rouge, Erica, face and Gori, which is the morning after the steps in universities, plus winning his repulsion for hospitals. :-) Once you have gone to greet the Lilly and Michael, something unexpected, but welcome, especially after the quarrel holiday.
The second week into the new department are no longer in a single room but I find myself at the beginning what for me is just a nasty Bausch Milan but within three weeks will turn into a tour company for the hospital to eat ice creams, snacks salami of Varzi and an inexhaustible source of stories, sometimes hilarious and sometimes interesting.
The three weeks with Mario in the rooms are yet another chance, and my mobility while continuing to improve, while the view even if not KO the beginning was a little 'compromised and I had to go around always with one eye blindfolded not to see all split.
Strolling on the ward as I understood I was lucky, I suffered what eventually has been one big fear was among young fathers with incurable diseases have to cope with the idea of \u200b\u200bhaving to Separate from their children, among people who would otherwise have always brought with it signs of trauma and I had to just wait and everything would be back to normal.
I just had to wait and I waited. In the hospital I learned patience, because there is also another place where time drags so slowly. While those who are outside, at home, sitting on a couch in front of the television, or work in front of a PC, you should not even wait to move, something must be done in the hospital you can not move and there is much to do then you can just wait. By
hard-nosed to my mother and my sister, who could not wait to see me wandering around the house and that spurred me to sign voluntary departure, I continued to wait. Until the last day.
September 27, 2008, Saturday.
Since August 18, the day of my arrival at the hospital, I had ceased to shave, the real reason I do not know, maybe because I wanted to stress the suspension of time in what I was experiencing. While waiting for his letter of resignation, with all the instructions for the tests to perform in the aftermath of my stay, finally I get brush and razor, and I shaved. My team-mates in hospital and I do not recognize me as a strange effect to see me without a beard. A metamorphosis.
Home at last, though always with an eye patch. Attila embraces you in an endless series of lavish feasts in the evening and do not resist and organized a cocktail at Cervinia. We all have an aperitif, but everyone with an eyepatch and I a little 'me laugh and some hair from' I get emotional.
few months later, in spite of the ophthalmic who say that having never recover completely, I'll see how the first, if that is double-look to the left but normal in all other cases.
Now I find myself two years from this experience enriched by true friends, and lightened by the problem of false friends, with a good ability to take the difficulties as to be taken, that one step at a time and patience with a shovel, and with half an idea of \u200b\u200bwhat things are really important in life. :-)
